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And how does that make you feel?

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2010 8:34 pm
by Songhue
OOC| Couldn't resist the title! :D

BIC| Frolic tilted her ears as Avalanche stepped towards her, looking at her in a sad, understanding way. They had stepped away from the others and as he approached she found herself stepping even further back, part of her wary. She had stepped to the side, then disappeared entirely, only to find him there when she came back to herself.

Did she remember what she thought she did? Oh, she remembered it alright. She had found them, finally, her daughter and son. Now that she wasn't there with them she was more mixed up than ever, part of her feeling fine again now that she had them to give her direction. She was freefloating, lost, without the family to care for. She just had to find her poor Spin, now...

But part of her had started to change, to grow, and she couldn't ignore that.

The others hadn't even seemed to miss her departure. She herself barely recognized the lapse of time, they had been found so quickly as she warred with her minds, floating in the broken fragments of her sanity.

She was scared now. Scared and more confused than ever before. They had found one another - but it hurt her. It stung as bad as missing them had, as she now had this shard of a newly growing self stabbing at her. It made it hard to think at times, made her more certain than ever she was losing her mind, as now the different parts of her mind were no longer unaware of one another but seemed to actively attack each other, to attack her.

She was scared, but she would get through.

And now, here was this stallion, looking at her as if he understood. How could he possibly understand? She didn't even understand.

So hurt, so scared, so confused.

And all she could say was a murmured "Oh, hi! Avalanche, wasn't it?" a false smile lighting up her face as she regarded him. She knew how she knew his name, at the least, thought it felt as if the memory came from another creature entirely. Would it always be that way?

Re: And how does that make you feel?

PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:28 pm
by Vineda
What a mess. It's all he could think as he watched the play of emotions. He saw her processing things... some deep heartfelt matter to be sure, and then processing the fact that she was processing. She came back to herself and realized it, her mind returning to the confines of the body she'd been chained to.

He knew the feeling, yes. It may perhaps have different stems, but he recognized it nonetheless. He still drifted now and again. The cold of his domain was so good for that, dousing the pain, putting it on hold. He rarely needed it outright any longer, but it was still such a relief.

And then he saw the fake smile, the false brightness, and his heart constricted. It was always so sad to see others putting on their faces for others, even with the pain blossoming afresh right below it. He sighed quietly, to himself, before answering. His voice was usually quiet, and he did nothing to doctor it up to "bright".

"Hello. Yes, Avalanche. And you are... Frolic, I believe?" His tone was that of questioning, as though he wasn't quiet sure if that was indeed her name. He knew very well that it was. But the gentle inquiry gave her distance if she chose to take it.

Re: And how does that make you feel?

PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 1:21 pm
by Songhue
Nodding almost absently, the mare flicked her tail and stretched her neck, the short mane accentuating the powerful arch. Frolic - yes, that was her name, though the trouble with her lay in the simple matter of no longer knowing who she was any more. Not really. Nothing beyond the name felt certain.

He was quiet, questioning, when he spoke to her. The brightness that had been pushed into her tone a moment ago seemed... No longer needed. And she was too tired to keep up the face any way, if she was to be honest to herself. So bone-weary in her soul and so uncertain that it felt as if she were dangling on the edge of a great void within herself.

You know it doesn't even seem to matter any more. Being who I should be, playing the role I'm expected. The mare who holds her family together, the one learning to exist outside the past we had, the one that frolics in the rain.. It doesn't matter any more. Nothing really seems to matter.

Part of her, and not that small a part either, really just wanted to curl up under a dripping branch of a great oak in her rain forest and never get up again. Fear and uncertainty had eaten at all her strength as the crossroads loomed in her heart. The mare she was, with her family found once again, or the one she was becoming, living beyond her foals and mate?

Did she hold to the bright face that would keep with who she was or allow who she had started to become to slip through the cracks?

Well it didn't matter, not any more. She was too tired for it to matter.

"Frolic it is, or so they call me. Had you some need of me, sir Avalanche?"

A small, wane smile, a thin parody of the true expression, touched her face for a moment. She tried her best to pass it off as nothing, dipping her head to pluck a mouthful of tender grasses and hopefully allowing the moment to pass. A sardonic expression flashed through her eyes as she did so, part of her splintered mind whispering in the far corners that she was drowning, drowning in the downpour of choices and emotions, a creature of storm drowning in the rain.

Not that it mattered.

Re: And how does that make you feel?

PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 2:04 pm
by Vineda
Avalanche quietly watched the emotions and thoughts play out. He could see their swirling pattern as they crossed her face, and he nearly winced at none-too-distant memory. But then her question brought him up sharply.

He glanced down to the ground. No, no he had no need of her at the moment. Just being nosey, honestly. Which was strange, as it was generally uncharacteristic of him.

Finally after a pause, he looked up and told her so. Bluntly. He figured that if he was going to be uncharacteristic he may as well do so properly. "No, there is nothing I require, Lady. Would that there was something I could do to help is all. If it is your wish, I will have done and leave you to your... musings. I merely thought it was better not to be alone with such thoughts always."

He watched her steadily once more, waiting for both reaction and for answer.

Re: And how does that make you feel?

PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 2:35 pm
by Songhue


That was a word that simply hadn't occurred to her before. Help? Was there any help for her? Could anyone find all the pieces and put them together as they were meant to be? Or even figure out which way they were meant to fit, for that matter.


The quiet murmur escaped her lips, thoughtful, hopeful, afraid. Would he, would anyone, know how to help her when she wasn't even entirely sure what she would need for such help herself? A physical pain stabbed through her heart at the notion. Hadn't hope long since died within her, leaving her fueled by determination alone, a refusal to fall apart? Apparently she had been mistaken, as the last shard of it twisted within her now, making her cringe at the now foreign sensation.

Thoughts of having him leave never crossed her mind, nor of reservation. He was a stranger, but so what? It didn't matter. She was just free floating now, floundering for something, anything, that would keep her from going under. Details like that didn't really occur to her. They didn't matter.

"Help.." she repeated, and was almost appalled to find tears stinging at her eyes. She had wept while in dark back-lands of the abandoned, but that was different. She had wept for her family, her broken bond, her lost foals and cherished mate...

Frolic had never once cried for herself. Now, it seemed she couldn't stop the flood that came, released by that one simple word.

She didn't bawl or hiccup or really make a sound at all outside her breath hitching with pain. She merely lowered her head and let the tears fall down her muzzle, raining on the grass as she swayed weakly.

Help.. Help me. Please help.

Re: And how does that make you feel?

PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 4:16 am
by Vineda
The struggle was heartbreaking to watch. Even worse was his not knowing how he even could help - if he could at all. Without his being very much aware of it, he was suddenly at her side - reining in the coolness, the chill as much as he could. He lent her his support, shushing her gently as tears fell. Shushing, not to quell her but for any comfort it might provide.

He waited, aware that time was passing though unsure if it be a long time or mere minutes. It did not truly matter. He watched carefully for signs of discomfort at the cold, though he contained it as best he could, glad for the first time for the warm and humid breeze occasionally sweeping the air. The snowy stallion stood ready to give her distance instantly should she need it.

"I'm here, Lady. Frolic. Take your time." Gentle murmurs attempted to steady her as well, lending soothing sound to his support.

Idly in the back of his mind he wondered what he had in mind for when her tears were spent, how he was proposing to Help, but he knew better than to try to plot or plan a matter like this out. Time would tell. Again without deciding to do so he found himself almost absently-like humming the tune to an old winter lullaby, waiting.