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Re: Push Me Under [Hinote...Again]

Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:03 pm
by Rainer
She shrugged, casting a sidelong glance toward the water's edge, watching the liquid lap slowly onto shore then retreat. Usually she would have snapped back at him, to mind his own business, but the urge wasn't there. She didn't want to yell, she didn't want to tell him off. She didn't want him to hate her like she hated herself.

"I... wanted to be something else. To be perfect, to make others happy... It didn't turn out as hoped, you could say," A soft sigh was released, regret leaking from her very breath. Purgatory, hell... Those words were familiar to her. Had she experienced them, or something like them? Or was she only hallucinating, as she had been told her life before was. Had it simply been a dream?

It could have been reality as well, though. Challenging Brittle, running away from home, meeting Hinote, standing in the cave with Hinote, then came... Him. As soon as she had met him, she had simply crashed and burned. The lessons soon followed, along with all those pointless beatings. She winced in remembrance of a particular spot on her flank that always seemed sore, as if perminantly bruised.

"Are you happy?"

Re: Push Me Under [Hinote...Again]

Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:26 pm
by Silverdust
She had wanted to be perfect...he guessed he hadn't really known her at all. The mare he'd been with in the cave, well, it seemed like pleasing anyone had been the last thing she had wanted. Didn't want to be Daddy's little girl anymore, and wound up with a scoundrel like him. Except...they hadn't really done anything, just sang a few broken bars of a few broken songs.

If they had though, would it have changed anything about the way she was now? If he had stayed...

But it was no use wondering about what-ifs. The reality was here and now and suffocating, from the way she sighed to the way she winced. Something big had happened to her, that kind of soul-shattering, mind-twisting thing he'd forced himself through. But he had made his choice, with its consequences. It seemed...maybe she hadn't read the fine print. Or just tangled with the wrong kind of sick bastard.

"Happy?" he laughed, short and derisive. "You must think so low of me, Saphire, to think seeing you like this brings me any kind of pleasure."

His eyes hardened and he turned to her in full, no longer dancing, no longer avoiding. "But seriously, who broke you? Cuz this, this doesn't happen on its own."

He would know.

Re: Push Me Under [Hinote...Again]

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:04 am
by Rainer
She was getting tired of this, tired of him trying to put the pieces together to figure everything out, but never tired of him. In a sick way he amused her, with the way he almost seemed to care. This showed on her face, the hints of a mocking smile fluttering at the corner of her lips.

This is when a tiny bit of the old Saphire managed to leak through, as if breaking the glass from the other side of the mirror and reaching through, searching for something to hold on to.

"...What about you?! I can clearly tell I'm not the only one to change," She snapped, almost hesitantly. More avoidance, pretending as if she hadn't heard his previous question, it was forbidden to speak of him, especially to outsiders. Few knew of his special talents, or better yet, his services, and it was best to keep it that way.

So in her slightly fiery moment, she finally made eye contact. In those few crucial moments she challenged him. Help me help you, she seemed to say, and maybe i'll let you in a tiny bit more. Maybe we could fix each other.

Then it broke, like the glass vase finally tipping from the shelf and shattering across the floor. She looked away and receded into herself, glancing at his hooves to show her offer was still standing.

Re: Push Me Under [Hinote...Again]

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 12:01 pm
by Silverdust
There was a flash of the old fire. Well, so she wasn't completely screwed over, at least his persistence showed something. He didn't miss how she avoided the question, though, and he wasn't about to give up on that. Just...not now.

He read her eyes easily enough, just because so many others had looked at him like that before. Let me help you, let me change you. All those times before he had turned away. It was something that he had had to do himself, no one to guide him, no one to hold him back. And so he changed on his own, and he wasn't sure if it was right but...he hadn't broken himself.

"Yeah, I've changed," he replied, shortly. He didn't put any anger into it, only a vague tension; he was far from being that obnoxious, irritable boy he once was. "It's called growing up. I haven't crippled myself."

She was shrinking into herself once again, and he wasn't quite sure how to pull her back out. First trial of his adult life, oh, this was grand. He could barely understand himself half the time. "Hey, you know you can look at me. I'm not going to hit you."

Re: Push Me Under [Hinote...Again]

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:49 pm
by Rainer
I'm not going to hit you.

Those words seemed to paralyze her, triggering one of her many faded memories. He wasn't the first to say that to her. The only difference was that the other had lied. Her breathing rate had decreased, air entering her lungs slowly and exiting the same way. Several blinks were then made, before she seemed to return to reality. She slowly looked up at him, the shattered gaze she hid behind finally meeting his.

"What caused this? Why did you suddenly have to grow up?" She paused for a moment, thinking of her own situation, before continuing on, "Did someone do something to you?"

There was another long pause as she slowly looked down again, "You were gone for a while..." She added softly, keeping the rest of her words to herself.

And in some odd way... I missed you.

Re: Push Me Under [Hinote...Again]

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:00 pm
by Silverdust
Her reaction to his words startled him slightly. Flashback; he'd seen it happen to Id, the sudden freezing, caught between past and present. So, she had been roughened up. The anger came suddenly, not unlike before, but it was not that mindless rage that he had been used to. It was sharp, all the intensity of an inferno focused into a smoldering ache somewhere inside his chest. It wasn't right, this all wasn't right...

But she was looking at him again, and he couldn't well run off and get revenge for something he knew nothing about. It probably cripple her even more in the long run; she didn't need a hero, and he wasn't the one to play a part. Better just answer the questions, least he could do for her now.

"No, nothing like you probably went through," he looked over the lake, towards the shadows of the pines. "Things just got broken, and I didn't know how to fix them. So I left, wandered. When you're alone, you have to grow up. That's all there is to it."

Didn't mention Mirage, didn't mention Id, didn't mention Brittle or Sanguine. Because they had only been the catalyst on a road he'd been heading from the start. "It took time....sorry I wasn't there."

He didn't know what he was apologizing for really. He doubted being there or not would've changed anything, but...he kind of wished he'd been around to try.