Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:06 pm by Songhue
The cubs were tussling again; it seemed they couldn't play without knocking each other about. They didn't play war games, didn't pretend to fight; it wasn't their way. Chasing, tackling, rolling, bouncing back up - it was just movement for them, a way of touching.
Of course it would have been far more convenient if they were doing such outside the den.
Shine sighed inwardly and stretched as they tumbled passed, watching them with a wary eye. More than once an accidental bump had pulled her into their games; if she wasn't careful they'd be tackling her next. They were so active it seemed she'd never keep up with them, some days - always moving.
Story time! she declared, and smiled as they quickly untangled themselves from a root that was wending over the walls to curl up at her feet.
The den shifted as they did; she was in fae form this time, and they had played in their wolf ones. As they grew still she saw them settle into unisus forms; it made her take a quiet moment to consider them. She'd known they would have such forms, she'd seen it in a vision, yet she'd been surprised when visiting with her bondeds had brought them to the surface. Her son, especially, shouldn't already have a third form - at only nine, he was far more advanced than she'd ever expected. Her daughter had always been unique; especially tough for a healer, she was something of an enigma. There was a particular vision associated with the young girl's core aspect that often left Shine thoughtful; a gentle glow, as if a light seen through fog. Yet the fog was forbidding and corrosive, and more dangerous the closer one was to that core of light.
It was rather fitting in an odd way; as tough as she seemed, the cub was very soft in her core, a very gentle soul. But it was well guarded.
Her son had been an anomaly from the start, born into his feral form - and it was the first two forms that made up the core of the being. She had been born into her fae, then grown into her unisus as her secondary form, the one discovered that was of her father's influence. He had been born feral and grown into a wolf; a fierce warrior indeed. The concept was only supported by the vision she'd recieved of his core; a great wending wall of light, much like the aurora borealis on the secondary realm she gained strength through visiting. A shield of rippling, burning, white-yellow light, blindingly bright with streams of death-shade red.
And now this third form, revealed too early.
He was strong, she knew that. They both were. She knew she'd be proud of who they'd grow to become. Her affections were quiet, subtle, so many failed to see how often she thought of them, how important they were to her. But the cubs knew, she was sure of that. They knew she was always there; always reliable. Unendingly patient while she taught them.
Story time, she said again, affecting a mild smile as their ears perked and her thoughts settled. There's a choice today; a tale of the new friends you've found in the bondeds, or a tale of ancestors.
Tell us more of the bondeds! her daughter cried eagerly. She was growing to love them nearly as much as her mother did, a fact that warmed the old fae's heart.
What sort of tale of bondeds? her son asked, casting his sister a sideways glance. He'd managed to learn from most of his mother's stories, but he thought that this time the tale of ancestors would prove more useful; he could learn more of bondeds by interacting with them. Now that he was allowed to, anyway.
A tale of love, loss, growth and renewal[i], Shine said, and her eyes twinkled as he pricked his ears in interest. He was subtle, but if one knew what to look for it was still easy to see.
She didn't have to wait for them to settle; rather than excited squirming they both grew deathly still, hardly daring to breathe. She couldn't quite understand why, but they did love story time; their cousin was the same way. Perhaps she was beginning to forget what it was to be a cub.
[i]No few of my bondeds came to me with broken ties, she began, and let her gaze slide out of focus as she sank into her tale, and each that did had a life before this realm. Many of them, through this breaking of bonds, forgot most of what their life had been; others found it harder to forget as some ties remained.
One of those others is Thorn. As active as he is internally, he's very demure and passive in his interactions with his surroundings. He displays a certain level of apathy; enough that there's none he'd actively care for or claim responsibility over, none he'd tell to get bent as he took charge of their well being. Yet as much as he's retreated within himself, he finds himself unable to release everything; he still belongs to a Circle.
As you've been told, Circles are like Clan - it's very difficult to join one, especially when those Circles are particularly close. For them, it's the one bond that outlasts all others; whatever else that had been broken before he came here, that remained. He can't escape that fact, and yet he doesn't remember anything about this group he'd sworn himself to through all his life.
That's his loss. Yet once, there was love; enough that he did bind himself in this way.
Now think for a moment, younglings, on what you might do in such a position. You've lost all ties save that of Clan, and that holds little to no meaning for you any longer; you've no memory of what it once was or even who you've bound yourself to, exactly. You've retreated inwards and remain passive to the workings of life; yet in this one area, passiveness isn't possible. It's your only remaining tie, the one thing that won't release you. What do you do?
Try to forget it, her daughter said, only to frown and add but I can't, because it's still there; still that bond that didn't break. You can't forget it if it's right there.
Chase after it, her son countered, it won't just go away and it's the only thing left to draw me outside myself. I can find out who I once was, if nothing else.
Why would you want to know who you were? the girl asked, and Shine felt her eyes warm again as he tilted his head and gathered his words before answering. She had that same habit, she knew.
Because then I could grow, he finally said, I don't have anywhere to start if everything's been lost and I've shut out the worlds. But if I something to work with, something I was, I can grow to be more. Some day.
How, then, Shine asked, would you chase this remaining bond?
Follow it they declared in unison, and then giggled together. Trace it to whoever was left I'd bound myself to her daughter clarified, and gave a flick of an ear as she pretended not to notice the way her little brother looked at her, as if she were someone to learn from just as much as their mother was.
It could be a long hunt, Shine cautioned, her tone dropping into mock-seriousness you could have a great deal of trouble finding the ones that remained from your past.
All the better, her son declared with typical warrior flair, journeys like that have just as much potential for growth. Maybe more.
Nodding, Shine resumed her story.
Then you see it clearly; having removed himself from the worlds, Thorn has as well. He loved; he joined this Circle. He lost; all other ties were broken and forgotten. Now he seeks growth, through rediscovering what once was - and hopes to renew some of these old ties. Perhaps he can become close to these he'd sworn himself to once again. Until then, he seeks.
But not all are as clear-sighted about such things; not all see that if such is all that remains then that is where one would begin. Frolic experienced much the same; and she went insane.
Her memories were not completely shattered; her ties were not faded or forgotten. She needed to renew them, and yet they were still there - she needed to find them, and yet they were not strangers. She was trapped between the state of beginning again and continuing on and unable to settle what her action should be. She couldn't release what had been and start afresh; not that easily. Nor could she simply stroll up and continue as if naught had occurred; the bonds were damaged and those she'd sworn herself bound to were difficult to find.
Unable to decide, with none to take action for her, she ripped her mind.
They winced, and her daughter let out a distressed whicker; as a healer she felt a sympathy that caused an ache in her chest. Such suffering, even if caused by one's own inner turmoil, must have been horrid.
It was Caustic who saved her, Shine continued, as he stripped her down to nothing and brought her outside of herself. He destroyed what she was and left her to build herself again; as she wasn't the mare that had been bound to these others, continuing as if naught had occurred was no longer an option. She'd be forced to forge new ties, as she was now; if such could even be forged. In this, we find renewal; a renewal of self and the opportunity to grow beyond madness. But there's another lesson, as well. Can you find it?
There was a silence as they both crinkled their noses in thought. Finally, each shook their heads, looking somewhat abashed; Shine held back a sigh. They were still learning to think, to do more than merely listen. They'd have to learn to discover their own lessons; but one day at a time. They'd catch on.
Destruction beings creation, she said firmly, and watched as they perked slightly, making extra effort to commit this part of the tale to memory; the part they should have seen, the part they'd never forget and would use to see others. He had to destroy who she was, tear her down to where she had no more self-image left than does your average leaf. The concept of who she was, who she had been, who she could be had to be shattered. He left her nothing but the ability to react without thought - and her reactions were fiercely angry. And she found joy in that anger, something that never would have been considered before. From that, she created herself; but first he had to break who she was.
The pair nodded, turning this concept to other things; the fall of an old tree created a beautiful hill as grass and mushrooms slowly covered the decaying bark, a fairy mound if the trees were old enough to have absorbed enough magic; a place of passage where the forces circled and fed power to whatever rites were performed. A dozen other examples easily came to mind for each, as it was a concept often seen in nature - and yet often overlooked. Until now.
Couldn't, her daughter asked, sounding a little uncertain, couldn't the same be said of having their old ties broken? Of Thorn? Before he could begin this journey and grow he had to lose...
Lose the ties he'd had! her son finished, with the exuberant certainty that comes with youth. Before he could become who he is now and grow even beyond that, he had to forget everything, including what that tie to his Circle had been. Destruction brings creation.
Very good, Shine grinned, and with that she climbed to her feet signaling the end of the tales. Her cubs quickly popped up after her, trotting a quick circle around her as she stretched and glanced over her den - the heart of a great tree, still living and growing around them this time. The den shifted with her, not with her cubs - this was the home of a fae. Stepping outside she saw small shoots of younger trees circling the massive redwood whose roots had formed the protective shelter; it brought a smile to her face. She was proud of her den.
Her cubs followed on her heels, eager for what came next; now that her tales were done they would walk their lands. Areas that were sick would either be healed or allowed to die as they made sure the realm remained healthy and balanced. It was the caretaking of their home; and a check to see if any had found their borders. They couldn't ignore the realm that nourished and sheltered them and walking in this manner, connecting with the land that was their own, the land they would one day become a part of and nourish themselves was something they enjoyed. It refreshed their spirit and strengthened them as well as their realm. And it eased natural instincts, allowed them to release a touch of magic into the areas they walked through; allowed them to help keep their home sentient.
Trotting circles around the fae that stepped through the Wilds, the cubs whickered and tried their skills at bringing new life with a touch, brushing their noses over the blossoms that sprang up wherever their mother laid a hand.
And for that moment, all was as it should be.
